10. You can call "punctuated equilibrium"
a scientific theory, then explain why scientific evidence for
it cannot be found.
9. When a student tries to raise critical
scientific questions of evolution in science class, you tell
him he can only ask them in a course on comparative religions.
8. To show transitional forms in school
textbooks, you just hire an artist to invent some.
7. You can ignore Phillip Johnson's book
"Defeating Darwinism - By Opening Minds" and write
your own: "Defeating Creation & Intelligent Design -
By Closing Minds".
6. You can refer to books by atheists Stephen
Jay Gould and Richard Dawkins as "Holy Writ".
5. If in need of spare cash, rob a bank
and call it "natural selection".
4. You get to cross out the word "God"
and print "Hydrogen" at Genesis 1:1.
3. You get to use quotation marks around
the word "scientists" when writing about creationists
who received their Ph.D.'s from major universities.
2. To convince the public that "Lucy"
[Australopithecus afarensis] was one of man's ancestors, you
fashion perfectly formed human hands and feet (and a pensive
look) on a statue of a primate.
And the number one cool thing about
being an evolutionist is:
1. You don't have to make any distinction
between fact and wild speculation.