10. You can call "punctuated equilibrium"
a scientific theory, then explain why scientific evidence for
it cannot be found.
9. When a student tries to raise critical
scientific questions of evolution in science class, you tell
him he can only ask them in a course on comparative religions.
8. To show transitional forms in school
textbooks, you just hire an artist to invent some.
(eg. Jazz Man by The Far Side)
7. You can ignore Phillip Johnson's book
"Defeating Darwinism - By Opening Minds" and write
your own: "Defeating Creation & Intelligent Design -
By Closing Minds".
6. You can refer to books by atheists Stephen
Jay Gould and Richard Dawkins as "Holy Writ".
5. If in need of spare cash, rob a bank
and call it "natural selection".
4. You get to cross out the word "God"
and print "Hydrogen" at Genesis 1:1.
3. You get to use quotation marks around
the word "scientists" when writing about creationists
who received their Ph.D.'s from major universities.
2. To convince the public that "Lucy"
[Australopithecus afarensis] was one of man's ancestors, you
fashion perfectly formed human hands and feet (and a pensive
look) on a statue of a primate.
And the number one cool thing about
being an evolutionist is:
1. You don't have to make any distinction
between fact and wild speculation.