10. You can call "punctuated equilibrium" a scientific theory, then explain why scientific evidence for it cannot be found.

9. When a student tries to raise critical scientific questions of evolution in science class, you tell him he can only ask them in a course on comparative religions.

8. To show transitional forms in school textbooks, you just hire an artist to invent some.  (eg. Jazz Man by The Far Side)

 

7. You can ignore Phillip Johnson's book "Defeating Darwinism - By Opening Minds" and write your own: "Defeating Creation & Intelligent Design - By Closing Minds".

6. You can refer to books by atheists Stephen Jay Gould and Richard Dawkins as "Holy Writ".

5. If in need of spare cash, rob a bank and call it "natural selection".

4. You get to cross out the word "God" and print "Hydrogen" at Genesis 1:1.

 

3. You get to use quotation marks around the word "scientists" when writing about creationists who received their Ph.D.'s from major universities.

2. To convince the public that "Lucy" [Australopithecus afarensis] was one of man's ancestors, you fashion perfectly formed human hands and feet (and a pensive look) on a statue of a primate.

And the number one cool thing about being an evolutionist is:

1. You don't have to make any distinction between fact and wild speculation.

by David Buckna

• Should evolution be immune from critical analysis in the science classroom? by David Buckna